It was confrontation time! 

SJ & YA are confronting MR that his two inputs were contradicting…As always, i am listening and when i felt the situation is becoming sticky…i try this ” hey comeon, he would have made the changes to his plan at the last minute and would have forgotten when u both asked him about it”….

YA gives her typical HR stare at me and says “  you keep quiet…you just believe …..let your belief save you!!”

SJ with his usual aggressiveness continues the confrontation and MR agrees that he lied…..i felt funny….when there is no reason to lie…what makes him lie?

YA turns to me and gives her condescending look and says “see, you just believe…..MJ is too ‘chalu’…he will not share anything with us and we keep sharing everything….LET YOUR BELIEF SAVE YOU!”

I tell her  “we all can give what we have only…i am full of beliefs and so i believe !!”……………Without realizing that i am intending that MR is full of lies…these words popped out of my mouth!!..

I felt uncomfortable  in making the situation more murky!   Though SJ diverted the topic and stuck on to this theory of “you give what you have”….i think i messed up today!

 

E + I + R = O

EVENT is what happens

INTEPRETATION is how our mind perceives the event

RESPONSE is how we react to the event based on the intepretation

OUTCOME is the combination of the event and our interpretation and our response!

this is the new improved  version of the formula from RK!!………seems to be getting better

 

Work is a blessing when it helps us to think about what we’re doing, but it becomes a curse when its sole use is to stop us thinking about the meaning of our life’  -  – Paulo Coelho

When i shared this quote with RK, as always he comes back and asks “what do you think of your current work?  While answering this, I have another question- how do you define ‘Truth’?”

………….now, i am thinking!!!!

I respond to RK –  ”Today, many of us still have the freedom of choice on many of our life decisions . My challenge seems to be within myself – do I focus, analyze, make the right choices and take responsibility for my choices?. this holds good for my current work also. I have all the freedom to make sure that my work is a blessing and the challenge seems to be whether i am doing anything on making it so!”    

Then i think about truth and the couplet verse 292  from “Thirukural”  pops up in my mind and then i translate it to RK and write down – “Truth – anything which brings in good for a larger cause is truth.  There is a couplet in Tamil which goes like “lies are also truth, if it ends up in good!”. It makes sense now(only!!)

For a change, RK seems to be satisfied with the responses….and ofcourse, who has a choice against Thiruvalluvar!!!  

Busy days….repainting the house is almost like shifting house…you got to move things out, paint, and put them back in place……….i was wondering why we need so many material possessions (hey, don’t imagine all those valuable stuffs……i am just referring to the curry powders and spices and the many other small stuff around the kitchen!)….

in this contemplating mood, i step out to finish a small errand and meet Ms AM on the way………….she stops and enquires about the progress on painting and i share my soliloquy with her…..”when God made men, he could have done something about our design…..something such that we can just survive without cooking…….this way, we do not have to so many things at home – spice and curry powders and vessels and vessels”………..she laughs and says “when my mom use to say - all i need is only a hut and two pots ………i use to think what is wrong with her…….but when i have to maintain the house, i realize how easy if i just have a hut and two pots!!”

oops…….so, it applies to all……..”LESS IS MORE”………suddenly, the clarity sets in and being as logical as i am, i  start applying the well established rule to kitchen  -  “anything which is not used in the last six months goes OUT!!!!”  -   i  feel more decisive on what to keep and what to give out!

We were watching Discovery Channel.    The whales and sharks were all over the screen.   The little one turns around and asks 

- “How did the man find whales and sharks?”.  I answer “When men went in ships into deep seas, they found them”. 

-”Can man understand what whales and sharks talk?”.  I get a bit careful…I know something is brewing in the little mind…I think and answer “No da, i doubt whether they talk in a language which man can understand easily”

-”So, how did man find the name of whales and shark?”…………I just could not stop LOL  

Life is interesting with young minds around!!

It was a noisy evening with the kids playing football over the corner…we were chit chatting….the kids came running  -  ‘Hansel broke his teeth when the foot ball hit him…….call his mom’. 

RJ quickly pulled her mobile out of her handbag and called JS  -  JS came with her ever striking coolness and calmness……….she says  ‘  Hansel beta, go and wash yourself in the club house..it is just the teeth which was shaking..it should be fine’.

He was indeed fine once he washed up and went back to his game.  RJ was enquiring..’so, are you finishing your fasting today?’

JS smiles and says  ‘  yeah, eight days are over’.  I was surprised and asked   -  ‘u fast for eight days?’…she smiles and says ‘we can drink lukewarm water as much as we want.’

I wonder…..she has been not eating anything all these eight days – not even milk, but she is so fresh and bright with the calmness and cool…..i was thinking of the one day where i had to fast for 24 hours and how irritable i became…

and look at her……she had been thriving on lukewarm water and stands here with a smile and a very clear thought and a calmness which catches me…..

After i come home, i keep thinking that i should read more about jainism……….i google for it…….and then realize it is just not me, but the  scientists are indeed studying the jains fasting to understand the survival techniques…….

but for me, it was the calmness and cool…….not the physical thriving which was unique……..it has to got to do with the mental stature than with the physical status!

It was this article on euthanasia which was referred by RK -  it brought back the dilemma and memories!

Author has listed the five stages the dying people and their family go through - Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance

but my memory is clear…………

the first feeling was fear……..it came and set in – ‘what will we do without her ’

then came –  ‘why me?’  -  ‘there are millions of poeple who are bad and why God chose us to go through this’

the associated anger  – ‘who did this to us? someone has done this to us, is God fair?’

denial  -’this can not happen to us, we had been always good to all..there is something wrong…this can not be possible’

bargaining -  with the great LORD himself – so childishly – ‘i will never eat icecreams in my life for ever if she gets cured and lives, i will go around the sanctum 108 times with foot over foot…etc, etc’

 and the acceptance -  WHICH NEVER CAME 100%….even today, i wish i could pick up the phone and talk to her and update her on the day’s happening, on the new watch i bought, etc, etc.

There were lots of moments where we had to decide  -   the doctors could lay down the pros and cons of each treatments  -  the cost, the pain, the side effects, the probability of cure (it is never 100%)….

The initial decisions were made with the  single focus of getting her back……we never discussed about the side effects, we never discussed the probability which was always less than 100%, we never checked if she was willing to go through the pain of the therapy……..

The days were long, the treatments were tough………slowly, the feeling of desperation was setting in………i could not stand seeing her going through these tough periods of physical agony…

 It was one of those days -  I remember it was the day after a painful therapy – she was on the bed and still under pain of the therapy, I was helpless and trying to read a ’sloka’ loudly at her bedside with a hope that it will reduce her pain – she looks at me and says ’ do not worry,  I am going through all these as I want to live for some more time and spend all those additional hours with you and B’

I broke down and at that moment decided that I will do whatever I can to increase her life span – B and me were ready to go to any doctor, try all feasible things because she was ready to go through those pains for just being with us for another day.

But there were times where I felt guilty  – ‘ are we making her go through too much of a pain  just for our sake?’  But B had always his positive attitude to reassure. “even if we can extend her life by six months or so, there are chances that there is some breakthrough in the medicine/treatment.  The research is ongoing and there are lot of positive breakthrough in this field..we have to go through this..think of the chance…the new medicine can make her live for another two years and in that time, with all the research going on…there can  be a cure’

Today, when i read the article, i just could conclude that all it matters is what an individual feels  -   never a government or a medical board or a group of activists can decide for an individual on the right to live or die.

I am still unable to kill the urge to understand the reasons on how the ’so-called’ intelligent super minds fail to differentiate between the simple cases of  ”UNCERTAINTY” and “RISK”  -   i am referring to the recent YSR incident.

I read an editorial about how politicians ignore the security cautions and end up paying a heavy price of their own life in addition to political jeopardy  - the list was indeed long -   Kennedy, Rajiv Gandhi, Benazir Bhutto,……….

and it is a mystery  -  what makes them ignore the cautions and get into the uncertainty zone from where they never returned….it is indeed psyching!

YSR also probably fell to the same trap ?  -  was he provided the security inputs about bad weather which he ignored?  did he move into uncertainty zone thinking he is taking a calculated risk? 

 For ages, business gurus have advocated the criticality to differentiate  uncertainty and risk from  the business perspective   - 

Risk  -   a decision taken after careful analysis of data and after estimating the payoff for undertaking the risk

Uncertainty – Lack of information to qualify and quantify a risk, the thrill of considering a uncertain situation as a risk

Business gurus have established that most of the good business men have the capability to quantify risk vs payoff –  is it probably a MUST-HAVE skill for our politicians??

MAY THEIR SOUL REST IN PEACE!

- with the hope that our new age politicians do differentiate “uncertainty” and “risk”!!

We were standing in front of the elevator.  The colorful tiny posters on the pathway catches my eye  -  it reads

“Hakuna Matata”…

I turn to VM and ask “what is this?”……..before he could respond, MR retorts ‘arrey!  don’t tell me that you do not know this…it is HAKUNA MATATA”…………Seeing that i am still drawing a blank, the supportive VM says..”this is that lion king, disney movie., you remember?”……….I get further confused and then ask..”oh, so this is Kannada? what does this mean?”……they both look at each other with a desperation on how can someone on earth ask such a dumb question…

to break the desperation, the elevator arrives……… we just hop in … have to keep quiet as there were co-passengers in the elevator……..and then we step into  Barbeque Nation….the heavy starters and the spread of food makes us forget any other discussions……….

Back home in the evening…..I am sharing the details on the heavy lunch and then say to the 14 yr old…”you know, i read something like Hakuna Matata and was about to check it with the friends whether it is Kannada, but could not.  They said something about lion king”……..

The discerning look comes back on the face and very carefully comes the response…”you asked them whether it is Kannada? oh, god!….it is Swahili  (What is this now?) and it means   “NO WORRIES”………two of the disney characters use these phrase in Lion King and also there are songs…..”…etc etc

I felt funny…….i was just not ignorant, but alse ensured that my ignorance put VM/MR in a fix on how to handle this…………………for a second i felt uncomfortable and then could not stop smiling……i can imagine what would have gone in the minds of  VM and MR(especially, knowing that he is an ardent kannada literature lover) when i asked them  “is it kannada?”………..i laughed out and said aloud  ”HAKUNA  MATATA“!

It was another “full day”  -  school preparations, con calls, reviews, early morning meetings……….It is in the evening when the kids gave the surprise handmade cards it struck that there should have been some plan to prepare a sweet at home  (dining out is ruled out  -  both from timing perspective and swine flu perspective).

“so, any choices for the sweet?”   -   with a glee in the eye, responds the 6-yr old “can we make that noodles payasam?”…………

the preparation is on and it is all ready ……..

everyone is on the dinner table and the “payasam” is served…………suddenly the 6-yr old gets into a contemplating mood……..and says “actually, it is YOUR birthday…..we should prepare what you like”…….

We smile and respond “that’s fine, we all like this sweet”…………this response gives a comfort and with a smile the little one is on with the job !!  :)