Category Archives: Society
Society at Large
It is letter P for the A to Z challenge.
When i clicked on “Tossing it out” and saw P is Prison movies, I know this one was easy. Lot of regional movies has prison in its main theme.
But the first thought when to the movie called Chirai (Prison) - It is a Tamil regional movie of 1984, based on the story written by a Tamil novelist Anuradha Ramanan. Apparently, this storyline was very progressive - it handled a sensitive topic, where an orthodox traditional married women makes a decision which is beyond the tradition! This movie brought in the stunning logic for the then traditional society (it is still the same in many parts of the world). When the married women gets assaulted sexually, her husband disowns her - now here is this lady who already is a victim and also being held responsible for being a victim! She makes a bold decision to move into the house of the assaulter himself, who already has realized his wrong-doing and supports her till the end and gives a very decent quality of life! The story ends where the lady decide to live as a widow of the assaulter than her husband who deserted her ! What this movie portrayed was the biassed outlook of a society - which is way off from being a gender-neutral society!
In general, even today, many parts of the society look at the victim of sexual assault condescendingly - the victim itself is considered partly responsible for the crime - when the infamous Delhi incident happened as recently as December 2012, there were unprecedented supporting voices for women safety from every corner of the world. At the same time, there was this view of “can one hand clap?” from some parts of the society !!
While there is lot to be said about this sensitive topic of women safety around the world, it goes without saying that we not only need stricter laws but a sweeping mindset change, where every human being is looked at as a human being than as a women or men…!
Am sure we are progressing as a society, but have still a long way before we say we arrived! Till then – for those lovely women folks around the world - TAKE CARE, BE BOLD & STAY SAFE!
It is 100th anniversary of international women’s day !! I still feel the same about this…what i felt years back….that wish still seems to be a secret wish!!….especially when you are in the realms of corporate world where you continue to work through the daily chores of everyone’s psycho maps and get things done and still love those few nice moments (a small note, a text message, that little fluttered morning wish from a security staff, the little smile from a junior staff in the elevator, the big laugh in the cafeteria over ginger tea) - life for any gender is by and large influenced by that first circle of folks who we constantly meet or interact with and most of the time it is just that handful…
The factors which seem to be different for a women arises majorly due to couple of reasons
- people/society just see her as a women physically than as a fellow human being!
- mother nature still holds to the fact that only women can bear children!
Every other factor tends to fade in the background if these two are handled well! Just being constantly aware …. Constantly aware of Self , Environment , individual rights and one’s own values helps!
The understanding that there is really no right and wrong when it comes to gender diversity views is another step for us! - being financially dependent on her husband did not make any difference to my grandmom’s freedom of thought hundred years ago! She never knew the existence of women’s liberation - she was born and also married into families which were traditionally patriarchal – still she was the decision maker for the family at large - men folks wanted to listen to her – she managed huge weddings - she was there for everyone! There was no gender bias coming in!!
While the modern world brought the humanity lot of advantages, it also brought in its own challenges - while it is nice to have those focussed groups to support and encourage gender neutral practices in various walks of our daily life, the fact still remains that the individual (be it whatever gender) mostly decide their own destiny! As a man thinketh!! (a good debate topic for those feminist forums to find why James Allen did not write “As a woman thinketh!”)
Ofocurse - wishes to all those great and lovely women around the world - world is what it is today becoz of the different roles you all play - daughter, sister, mother, friend, boss, subordinate, etc…etc… you make a difference in the lives of every one around you!! Take care of yourself! Be aware! Be blessed!
When I found that many are cutting short the three-day conference to two days and getting back home earlier, I was upset .. Upset because I prioritized the third day at the conference over my little one’s annual music day at school. I still could have done a replanning - aversion to last-minute replanning, late nights at airports and to some extent my laziness overtook (I also had an iota of sincerity quotient towards participating in the conference) – I decided to continue on the thrid day.
It was still haunting to remember that expectant voice and little face “amma, can you come on Friday morning atleast for the music day?”. I decided I need to give my little one something which will to some extent compensate my absence. It struck me then that I can take something which is unique - an autography from his favorite cricketer Rahul Dravid - it is almost two years since the little one got Dravid’s autograph on a two-inch paper and I was impressed by this cricketer. Rahul exhibited that he is a true hero - read the detail here.
So, I had updated my colleagues that I am going to manage to get Rahul Dravid’s autograph during the valedictory session on the third day - while I was extremely aware that it is a formal forum and I may look a bit out-of-place asking for his autograph, I was encouraged by my desire to compensate my absence on my little one’s school day back at home - ofcourse, there were other colleagues who really were fans of Dravid’s cricket skills unlike me who were also planning to take a picture or an autograph from him
I literally grabbed the opportunity when Rahul was waiting at the first row corner to get into the stage - I dashed to him with a notebook and pen and showed this notebook telling in a low voice that it is for my son and his name his karthik - I saw a momentary shock on his face and also probably some irritation (when he is focussing to get to the stage in an official forum, sure he did not expect this!) - that was just momentary - he took the pen, wrote my son’s name and gave his autograph. A minute and it was all done - true hero obliging to his fan’s request.
His session started and I was once again in for surprise - his humble nature and the ability to laugh at himself were quickly taking up the audience by fire. While you can watch the video here
Few quotes which captured my attention are
- Aggression is a mind thing
- Stay at the cocoon of the moment and do it again and again and again – ability to put your mind to the moment needs skill
- Cricket somehow brings you down to the earth – all of us are hardwired to deal with failure
- Emotional energy which is lost due to failure is very important to deal and then get back
- Coming second to Sachin or Laxman is NOT such a bad thing. Coming second to someone mediocre is something bad
- Few things I ticked before a match – : physical fitness, technical capability, mental routines, and emotional energy
- Great teams are built on great bowling attacks
- If u got the bowler’s angry, then u r closer to winning – anger takes away focus
My surprise indeed continued when i saw him in the same flight back home - in the economy section, two seats in front of me…again being that same humble, polite, wanting to establish that feeling of “I am one among all of you!” - still accommodating the fans who were asking for an autograph or a picture with him - through the flight, on the ground near the baggage collection area - ofcourse, I was satisfied with the elaborate autograph for the little one which I got in the evening!!
Once again, it was witnessing the real hero - is it just being humble OR is it being Rahul Dravid - looks like it is Humble and being Rahul Dravid!!
It was always in the back of my mind - a small throbbing of uncomfortable feeling! From the time when I heard about Nithyasri’s personal incident, I was more concerned on when she will come back - I never had any doubt about her coming back, but was not sure of the period she is going to take to get back with confidence.
When I came to know that she was back on music academy with the support of her dear friend musician Sowmya, I had stop my work and google to get more inputs on her comeback. It indeed was so heartening to see her back in her normal avatar..
While we will never know the real reasons of why and what caused this talented woman to face such an incident in her life, I only want to say that it is extremely important for many women to know that Nithya came back to get on with her life and her life’s purpose! Her comeback exhibits the courage of an individual, a woman who wants to put the trauma behind her! She indeed will be a role model not just for the budding musicians but also for those scores of South Indian Women!
WELCOME BACK, NithyaSri - God Bless!
What a pleasant way to start 2013 - I really felt that our police services are making genuine effort to be more people friendly….
This is what happened today evening - we were in the Cauvery circle near Sadhashiva nager and suddenly a traffic police pops up and gives a card - my first thought was it is some safety advisory …, but when i opened it - BINGO!! NEW YEAR WISHES !!
I felt so thrilled about the whole experience - “Honge kamyab hum Honge Kamyab”
Great start for 2013!!!
One of the peppiest (!!) songs in the recent past!! A tribute to Rajni - one of the most popular actor and known for his “down-to-earth” attitude!
Have heard this song already many times!! Birthday wishes!!
When I saw the invite for the book publishing event in my mail box from Anitha, I wanted to go. Two reasons - Anitha is one of the persons whom I can just sit for hours together without even talking much and feel completely at ease; two of Anitha’s prize-winning short stories are part of the book which was published that day.
While I had never been to this kind of event before, I thoroughly enjoyed the evening. I reached the event little late (they had already published the book which Anitha said is the main event!), I think I was present for the best part of it - reading the extracts from the stories which were published in that book.
I was mesmerized when one of the women rendered a paragraph from Anitha’s story - I could not believe that such a voice modulation, clarity and emotion can all be brought in by anyone - especially a frail looking women. I just wanted to sit there and listen to her reading all the stories from that book for ever.
Anitha updated me that it was Jyoti Makhija, one of the famous theatre personalities in Bangalore. It also stuck me later that majority of the participants (including the audience) were women - women who gave a feeling that they are intellectual, who are matured and mostly over 50. It again reiterated the fact that women have more interests in life as a group and still want to believe in fiction.
ps-I was highlighting that I was impressed that lot of women are interested in english literature. I got an immediate response “Women do all the running round. Men sit and write” I liked the intended pun from Anitha on this!!
Related Post: Congratulations
Gas booking had been always an elusive chore for me in the past. The Gas distributor use to open his shop by 10 am and promptly shut down by 5.30 pm - Many a days I was so consumed at my work (ok, u saw through the excuse!! ), I will miss the time window for gas booking. So, I use to wait for a Saturday ………..
So, when the Indane Gas announced the streamlined LPG GAS Booking through IVRS around May last year, I was one of those who was relieved. I went through the details on the newspapers (Now Book Indane Gas any hour of the day), promptly understood the process and noted down the relevant new numbers. I started using the Indane gas IVRS and once I got my phone number registered, all I need to do was to press few numbers on the phone pad and I was done. I was thrilled that the technology solved my gas booking challenge!! Happy ……….
Having solved my gas booking challenge, I was living ‘happily ever after’……….Suddenly, one day my maid started complaining that she is not getting her LPG cylinder on time……..As I was busy in the kitchen and with my limited mixed up local language skills, all I understood was - she needs me to book her LPG. I did not even react as I was not sure why she is asking me to do her booking - especially she witnesses my daily morning crazy circus in the kitchen trying to meet my target of school bus…….and how does she think I will have time to do a gas booking?
Then over the weekend (when my mornings are not-so-crazy), she mentioned that she took help from one of her friends for gas booking, but was not successful. I was intrigued now as I thought the IVRS is the most simple way to get the gas booking and why it is tough for my maid and her friend. My maid is definitely a smart lady - she is good in using her mobile phone - she has even suggested me on how to download ring tones!! So, why is this IVRS tough for her? I told her there is also “Kannada“version of IVRS.
For a minute, she looked at me as though I am crazy and said “amma, athunalli matthaduvadhu computer amma……………(Madam, if you call that number, it is computer which is talking to you. If you say something also, it will keep telling, please press this number, please press that number……they have put some computer which can not understand what we are talking…..and it will never take our booking)!!”……….I was completely flabbergasted and then could not control laughing……….
Gas booking - IVRS - Vagaries of it!!!
Last weekend, I was in Chennai Koyambedu Bus Stop (Chennai Mofussil Bus Terminus). It is more than a decade since I travelled long distances in buses - most of the time we end up in trains or air. Obviously I never had the opportunity to see the Koyambedu Bus Stop so far, though I have heard about it many times in the past. It was an unplanned trip to Chennai (to support my relatives in their sudden bereavement) and I was returning to Bangalore and the state transport bus seem to be the most viable option for unplanned travel.
My first impression when I stepped into the Koyambedu bus stop was “WOW, it is huge”. I was even more impressed when I saw a nice central welcome hall which gave lot of space for passengers and public to wait. I was completely sold on the CMBT when I saw the excellent direction boards which clearly listed the platforms and the corresponding places where buses ply. I saw few wandering foreigners who were looking at the direction boards and making notes.
I was thrilled that I got easy directions from sign boards and started walking towards the platform bay where Bangalore buses start. I was so relaxed that I spent good time on the way in a small shop getting magazines and newspapers. When I reached the bay, I was in for a shock - as I saw buses travelling to some Tamilnadu cities were in the bay. I again went and checked on the sign board which clearly said - platform 5, bay 23. I enquired with couple of bus drivers who were standing and chatting - they were very helpful. Here is the conversation
me: sir, where is Bangalore bus?
conductor 1 : Bangalore busa? antha pakkam sutthi ponga (Bangalore bus? go around to the other side)
me (confused!): board said 5th platform…this is 5th platform
conductor 2 (looking at me as though I am from another planet): idatha mathidanga - board appidiye irruku! (changed the place, but the direction board is not changed!).
Now, I just ran around to find the right platform ……..God, you made my happiness short-lived!! And if you think that the story stops here……it continues ………….
Having used to making advance bookings on trains and air using net (especially, I have mastered the Tatkal booking scheme of Indian railways!!), I fell into the prey of booking the bus travel ticket over net (www.tnstc.in). As it was a hurried trip and it was a sunday morning, I did not get a print out assuming that the handheld I carry can display the ticket to the conductor. I also had my ID card listed in the ticket and thought it should suffice.
When I found the right place of Bangalore buses, I was into the second shock. There was no unique number for the bus which I was supposed to go (may be, I am still not very sure if I have missed it). There were three buses waiting to start to Bangalore and all the three had the same route number. Again, I reach out to the conductor standing near one of the buses
me: I have booking for the bus which starts at 10.45. which bus is that?
conductor 3 (looks very vaguely at me – again it is the look of “which planet did you come from?”): “intha busu pathinoru manniku pogum. eeri seatla okkarunga (this bus will go at 11. get in and sit).
me: (puzzled!): I do not have a print out of the ticket, it is in this phone and you can see it in this. is it ok?”
conductor 3 (completely convinced that I am in no way a passenger who can go by bus): “illa illa, print out venum. (no-no, need print out)”
me (not lost confidence yet!): I have my id card - voters card (with too much of a confidence!) also. you can compare it with your list.
conductor 3 (irritated now!): ”print irrunthathan vandilla eeralam (only if you have print out, you can get into the bus)”
me (bit tensed now!): Is there any office where they can print out here?
conductor 3 (totally lost interest): poi keetu paarunga anga - (go and ask in office)
Now, considering I have less time, I run into the office and ask them if they can print the tickets out (as there were no shops inside the entire CMBT bus stop which can print). While there were two computers and two folks operating it, they were least interested to even hear about my problem. I came back to the bus again and this time there was another conductor 4 who felt it was ok to get into the bus. I just got in and sat - yes, I did come to Bangalore.
So, if you are a first timer in CMBT, remember two basic lessons - ensure you validate the platform numbers with conductors and not just go by those direction boards. And avoid net booking and get the tickets directly from the conductors – considering there are so many buses plying it should be ok to just go and get the tickets on a normal day (may be, the reservation may help on some holidays or festival days where the crowd is too high).
Koyambedu - I know how to handle you now!