Friendship & Expectation
Is there any relationship without an expectation?
As a child,sibling,spouse,parent,friend…… we all have lot of responsibilities – these responsibilities, in turn are indeed the expectations on us?
‘Mother-child’ relationship is supposed to be the best of the all the relationships known (defined) by the mankind – it is selfless with no expectations. Think for a moment – is that how it is in reality? Any average mother expects her child to be well educated, healthy, have a good career and settle down in life. Though all these can be stated as ‘selfless’ expectation………..these are STILL expectations. Even the expectation that the child needs to keep the parent updated about the critical happenings in his/her life is indeed a stressful expectation at times!
Is it feasible at all to get into a relationship without any expectations and also sustain that relationship for long?
Agreed that it is next to impossible when it comes to relatives…where there are always expectations depending on the roles we play. But may be, is it feasible in FRIENDSHIP – a relationship which can probably sustain without expectations ?.
Possible,if we have two individuals on the same page on thoughts, similar economic critera, similar access to the communication channels of the world…and last but not the least – complete belief in each other – and finally surrender to that fact that indeed the other person is what you believe them to be.
How many such relationships have existed in the past? Can it be a reality? to wait and watch…
Posted on April 29, 2009, in Thoughts and tagged Friends, Relationship, Self improvement, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.
I ... reach!! 
When you say friendship, it is already a relationship based on trust, loyalty and honesty. Otherwise it is not a friendship, it is an acquaintance. When you have a friendship, you have an expectation that the friend will not betray you by giving out confidential information to outside sources, that the friend will not back stab you and that the friend will remain honest with you in communication and action. There is an expectation that what drew you to him/her in the first place continues to remain as a quality in him/her. When that changes, there is disappointment with the loss of a friendship. What has been a part of your life and has taken time away from your work and family is no longer worthy enough of your time. That is a difficult pill to swallow when it happens but the pill when swallowed will cure the loss in time. It is quite possible that there can be an “unconditional love in friendship” where only what you give matters to you and you love the friend for what he/she is. I would think that one requires an enormous amount of inner strength, maturity and understanding of the world to accept and maintain a friendship without expectations. That is something that you can find out only by taking that journey yourself and not from books or learning from others experiences. Expectation from your friend is not the issue here, expectation of yourself in this friendship is the key here that has to be managed. Nurturing friendships require time. Time requires commitment. When you commit, can you handle the pain if it ends up for a loosing cause and you have to walk away? If the true objective is that you want to learn something about yourself in taking up this journey, “test” the expectations if there are any somewhere early in the journey itself. You can always be sure of yourself, you should never assume about the other person. “Test” for yourself and the other person somewhere along the way.
Exactly………when you say that friendship is where you can probably look for a relationship without expectations, it indeed puts a stress on we also not having any expectation. Is it possible ? That is the journey……!!
You captured it better, Ilango!
Hey IR, you’ve been tagged!
This is a surprise!! I am flabbergasted!!