Category Archives: Thoughts

All about what I think – SELF

Coelho to Thiruvalluvar

Work is a blessing when it helps us to think about what we’re doing, but it becomes a curse when its sole use is to stop us thinking about the meaning of our life’  –  – Paulo Coelho

When i shared this quote with RK, as always he comes back and asks “what do you think of your current work?  While answering this, I have another question- how do you define ‘Truth’?”

………….now, i am thinking!!!!

I respond to RK –  “Today, many of us still have the freedom of choice on many of our life decisions . My challenge seems to be within myself – do I focus, analyze, make the right choices and take responsibility for my choices?. this holds good for my current work also. I have all the freedom to make sure that my work is a blessing and the challenge seems to be whether i am doing anything on making it so!”    

Then i think about truth and the couplet verse 292  from “Thirukural”  pops up in my mind and then i translate it to RK and write down – “Truth – anything which brings in good for a larger cause is truth.  There is a couplet in Tamil which goes like “lies are also truth, if it ends up in good!”. It makes sense now(only!!)

For a change, RK seems to be satisfied with the responses….and ofcourse, who has a choice against Thiruvalluvar!!!   🙂

A hut and two pots

Busy days….repainting the house is almost like shifting house…you got to move things out, paint, and put them back in place……….i was wondering why we need so many material possessions (hey, don’t imagine all those valuable stuffs……i am just referring to the curry powders and spices and the many other small stuff around the kitchen!)….

in this contemplating mood, i step out to finish a small errand and meet Ms AM on the way………….she stops and enquires about the progress on painting and i share my soliloquy with her…..”when God made men, he could have done something about our design…..something such that we can just survive without cooking…….this way, we do not have to so many things at home – spice and curry powders and vessels and vessels”………..she laughs and says “when my mom use to say – all i need is only a hut and two pots ………i use to think what is wrong with her…….but when i have to maintain the house, i realize how easy if i just have a hut and two pots!!”

oops…….so, it applies to all……..”LESS IS MORE”………suddenly, the clarity sets in and being as logical as i am, i  start applying the well established rule to kitchen  –  “anything which is not used in the last six months goes OUT!!!!”  –   i  feel more decisive on what to keep and what to give out!



It never ceases, the feeling of incompleteness  –  never it is 100%  inspite of all the years!!

Though we could feel her  soul, the dream of meeting her one of these days never ceases!….It makes sense to keep reading the following statement(written 10 years ago!) again and again to tell the subconscious mind that she is not physically around, ………but the wild dream of talking to her on a phone or meeting her in person still continues!

We think of all the good things about you ma, all the great achievements you made and just feel proud of you.  You will be always with us, there to support us when we need your strength.  You are only absent physically at the gross level.

You showed us the Power of Love, Strength of Simplicity and Virtue of Patience!

No complaints!!

It is a Saturday morning monsoon fury  – the rain gods are all out!.  I am standing near the block steps and  wondering whether i should go back to  get the umbrella before i walk out.  It is a short task –  to get the fresh green spinach from the vegetable vendor, who brings them on the push cart.  He parks right outside the compound gate.

Though I like to get wet in the rain, I decide to go back and get the umbrella  (ofcourse, the thought of  drying the clothes on a monsoon day influences my decision).  There are no other buyers and the vegetable vendor has covered his head with a polythene cover…he smiles  “What shall I give you?”.  The spinach is all wet and muddy.  I make my conversation with him  “Rains in the morning are always tough!  it will be tough for you today to stand in the rains. Few  customers may not  come out.  It will be better if it rains in the afternoons”.

He smiles and in a matter of fact tone says ” Let it rain. Only if it rains, we will continue to get such green vegetables.  So, let it rain. Getting wet is good. We can not control nature and command when to rain.  Nature knows what is best for us.  Let it rain.”.

It hits me that he has mastered what i am struggling to do.

With all my education, intelligence and acquired knowledge,  I took years to realize that COMPLAINING is not an option. After realizing, i am still working to practice it!!….

And here is the vegetable seller, probably younger to me by age, not even stepped into a college……….who very easily practices it!!

What life teaches you is never taught in any books!!

Friendship & Expectation

Is there any relationship without an expectation?

As a child,sibling,spouse,parent,friend…… we all have lot of responsibilities – these responsibilities, in turn are indeed the expectations on us?

‘Mother-child’ relationship is supposed to be the best of the all the relationships known (defined) by the mankind – it is selfless with no expectations. Think for a moment – is that how it is in reality? Any average mother expects her child to be well educated, healthy, have a good career and settle down in life. Though all these can be stated as ‘selfless’ expectation………..these are STILL expectations. Even the expectation that the child needs to keep the parent updated about the critical happenings in his/her life is indeed a stressful expectation at times!

Is it feasible at all to get into a relationship without any expectations and also sustain that relationship for long?

Agreed that it is next to impossible when it comes to relatives…where there are always expectations depending on the roles we play. But may be, is it feasible in FRIENDSHIP – a relationship which can probably sustain without expectations ?.

Possible,if we have two individuals on the same page on thoughts, similar economic critera, similar access to the communication channels of the world…and last but not the least – complete belief in each other – and finally surrender to that fact that indeed the other person is what you believe them to be.

How many such relationships have existed in the past? Can it be a reality? to wait and watch…

Fasting – Is it for the religion / God or for ourselves?

Fine, I thought it was about passing on the traditions to the next generation! I am talking about fasting as per the religious dictum!

Though the atheist inside me(Atheism is a big topic which I need to dwell much deeper some time) keeps throwing questions about fasting in the name of GOD and RELIGION, the rational mind keeps calming those questions by the benefits of skipping one meal a week, letting the next generation understand the importance of some self inflicted discipline – yeah, skipping a meal every week on the same day, same time is indeed more of a discipline in the first place.

So, it was that day of the week, where I skip one meal and then I realize that I need to skip the next two meals also……….as the next day happens to be a religious day, happening once a year – so, it boils down to skipping three meals in a row!!!…………almost 24 hours of fasting!! I was wondering how to handle this, with the day-to-day demands on my physical fitness to fulfill the needs of various roles I play everyday -at home, at work!

Being like what I am, I just decide to go ahead and take it as it comes …….. So work continues as usual at office and at home… but the fuel for the body is in demand……Slowly, the fatigue sets in……can feel the pangs of hunger………I can sense the transformation……the irritability index raises …….:(

I know that the fast is just for another half day and I have food to gobble after that, but still the mind is not taking the control…….it is the physical status of the body, the hunger which is taking over the control.Trying to keep it to myself, the irritation – but it is so challenging to keep the cool……I am starting to consciously control my irritation, but indeed the hunger is fuelling my irritability!!……

I remember the times when we were kids, on festival days, the time we wait in front of our plates, our father instructing us to close our eyes and chant the name of god, till the food was served….it was extremely challenging, especially smelling the goodies that are getting prepared in the kitchen!
There is no such disciplining done by anyone today, it was a self inflicted discipline, but still it was tough….

It hits on the face… Here I am getting irritable at the fag end of just a 24 hr fast, with a confidence that at the end of 24 hrs, I have good food to gobble upon. Imagine the metal state of the poor and the unfortunate of the society in the down trodden countries – who do not know when and how they will get their food for the day.

The actions of the “don’t have” section of the society – their involvement in violence, their belief in values, etc., suddenly seem to come in different perspective – yes, when the so called ‘idealistic, savvy’ class struggle to get the control of mind over a physical state, how is that feasible for the poorest of the poor to withhold their values and feel determined to reach their goal – we have multiple examples from the modern day AMBANIS to the mythical HARICHANDRA to learn from!!

I wanted to understand more about fasting and started reading further on why almost every religion suggests fasting – I feel that fasting should have much more intention behind than what I know….though I went through multiple reasons on fasting, the one which sounded more apt to the current situation is

The more you indulge in senses, the more they make their demands. Fasting helps us to cultivate control over our senses, sublimate our desires and guide our minds to be poised and at peace and guide us reach where we want to

I know at least my fasting has got me thinking, though I will have to go a long way before I feel guided to reach where i am suppose to reach!!

The journey is on!!

Got To ‘LET-GO’…. To Move Forward

It was extremely tough….been thinking of it multiple times, tossing over it ………it was always there in the back of the mind….a task to be closed, but never could get down to action.

The function is something which I have been handling for the last four years, started with the definition of the function (even before the function took shape), nurtured and established. I am looking back at the time when I took over this responsibility – with so much of expectation, with so much of confidence about my ability to manage and establish something new, with support from the senior team. It was indeed a thrilling experience that I could still keep in touch with the core business through this function and also get the flexibility of limited travels. It worked out well. Additional responsibilities came in……which started taking almost 100% of my time. In spite of the additional responsibilities, I always cherished my involvement in this core business and put in additional effort to ensure that I indeed give my attention and effort to the function which I established.

And then the news came in……. Granted, we are facing recession, organizations are flattening, etc, etc………..but still, it was tough, to agree that I need to Let-Go of this responsibility, especially when the team still thinks that I am doing an excellent job of guiding them. The role is not going away, but getting merged into an existing function. I need to set the communication in motion and handover the responsibilities. It starts nagging!!

It was a discussion on personal relations…….the query was about what do to in a relationship where the other person is not reciprocating the same level of emotional closeness ? how to handle the possessiveness and insecurity which creeps in when we know about their other emotional attachments? Is it natural and ok? Without any realization, ‘bang’ I start. Of course by default, my pragmatic sense kicks in and I emphatically say “That IS natural! Feeling possessive about something which is close to you is natural. At the same time, if you have enough experiences in life and understand how to look at emotional attachments objectively, you will find the way! You will understand that YOU HAVE TO LET-GO IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE. It is the same in all relationships – spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends and there is no two way about it!.”……………….my inputs were well received and appreciated. I seem to have established my point of letting-go and the maturity which is required to practice it!!…….

And here I am, struggling to accept the fact that I need to do the LET-GO act, may be not in a personal relationship, but in the professional way. Again a strange way how your own mind can work ……….it could kick in when it comes to sharing its ‘so-called’ knowledge to a person in need……….it seems to fail when it comes to the self and especially in practicing the same……adding to it, it also enjoys and revels in the praises about how sensible and matured mind it is !!!

Suddenly, there is clarity…it struck that your mind can think better if you are not emotionally involved. It is the same act of LETTING GO………may be, it is a professional scenario, but nevertheless it is the same……it clears my thoughts………I am all ready to let-go ……….it struck me, it is not a new concept…….I have heard it before – from my professional mentor (sort-off!)……….”to grow into a new role, you need to let-go what you are doing”…….”in other words, you let-go of your comfort zone, you will grow and explore newer horizons!!”……

I could write the four line note, a positive note that I am looking forward for this function to flourish further in the new hands and I am all set to explore the new responsibility which is around the corner!!

At the end of the day, I am lucky enough to stand on my own wisdom (though it required a conversation with an equally alert mind). It is a wonderful feeling to realize the calmness which spread through you – this is the understanding that your mind is taking the control on your actions, the fact that you indeed can practice with ease what you preach others (and the comfort that the praises given to me on my sensible advice, is indeed worth enough!!)

“Let-go” 🙂

Bloggers anonymous! :)

To be or not to be? That is the question!!

Does it make sense to continue as an anonymous blogger ? what are the pros and cons?

Reveal yourself – says one side of the argument (obviously, if it is a question, then there are always two answers, right?). #1 Very few people blog for the interest of writing and hence if you are going to share your identity, it is only going to reach a few people, who really are interested in your writings. #2, what is wrong in sharing your identity, you are what you are…go ahead and share #3 knowing the writer brings in more credibility to the writing.

Look at it this way, when you blog, the focus of the readers need to be on the content of what you have written and not on the author. When you reveal your identify, there indeed is going to be a bias based on the age, gender, nationality, language, state, marital status, education, profession and what not. The bias can be positive or negative. But again the questions comes to

To be or not to be?? Do we want the reader to be biased based on the author’s identity?

At the moment, the choice is NOT to have biased readers and continue as an anonymous blogger

– from the anonymous blogger (i really do not know if there is indeed a need for “bloggers anonymous”, but it gives a catchy title!!)

The Glass is Half Full (?)

Small things make big differences………. most of us have experienced, still continue to experience….the small acknowledging smile on your neighbors face when you cross on the walkway, the first flower on your kitchen garden, the little bird on your window sill on the early morning, the passing comment from a friend about your new dress looking nice, etc, etc……..

I find that this small happiness in life needs a conscious effort, (which is very miniscule when compared to the effect) And hence, I have been working on myself to make sure that I experience the paradigm shift of seeing the glass being half full – to observe and appreciate those small gifts that life keeps showering on us a daily basis…

I strongly feel that everything starts as a practice and on continuous practice, it becomes a habit and a habit comes natural and becomes part of our personality, defining the sort of person we are…

So, where to start on the paradigm shift? Step one of seeing the glass as half full? Think, think, think…..

May be, it is the basics of communication………let us start it here!!

Step one – try to convert all negative words into a positive word….check if it communicates what you wanted to communicate

“The report is not done” Vs “The report is yet to be done”
“We will not meet the schedule” Vs “We will complete the project with an additional one week”
“I am not hungry” Vs “I am full”
“You are going to fall and hurt yourself” Vs “Be careful so that you play on the swing for long time”

Over a period of time, i have seen the style of communication makes us think positive….

Try it and see if we can make it a habit….to see if we can set the paradigm shift to happen!! Good luck till we practice to make this a habit and as part of the personility!!

Do we need a goal?

Interestingly, the conversation ended up in “what we want in life?”………….this is after all the discussions on multiple topics………

to be honest, the topic itself was ‘sudden’ , considering the discussion was more on getting to know each other………trying to tease each other and challenging the mental state through subtle jokes ……….there was definitely some sync of wavelength……….both of us wanting to psyche the other, wanting to understand the other, wanting to catch up on the days which we missed ……….

but, the topic came in suddenly, from nowhere…………what do u want to do in life?…………and the answer was even more refreshing……..

i want to live life – like a river flowing through its course, a river does not worry about where it is going, it keeps enjoying its flow and keep flowing. Some day, may be at some point in time, during the course of journey, life will show where we want to go, it will be crystal clear that here is the destiny……….till then, i want to flow………..enjoy the daily happenings………so many things to be noticed, so many things to be appreciated ………

i am still thinking, was it a coincidence that i got into a discussion like this when i was embarking on a journey to identify whether there are goals in life? is it probably easy to just live it as it comes, live it to the fullest of the moment and keep looking forward to what is going to come?

It definitely is a sound school of thought, appreciating life as of today, being present for the moment, being aware of the current feeling

Need to explore further.

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