Category Archives: Society
Society at Large
Another women’s day just passed by! Lot of attention in media – everyone did their bit! The private sector, the public sector and the individuals – all played their part in promoting the awareness about celebrating womanhood! Nice messages were pouring into my whatsapp, twitter, fb and mails. Everyone seemed to be enthusiastic about sharing their wishes with me – colleagues, friends, family…. and I reciprocated. In addition, I did my bit by joining a walkathon organized at work for the sake of girl child. It was a win-win for me – I could do a long walk and also make sure that I did my bit on women’s day.
And then, this interesting conversation happened during the walkathon. There was this senior person from a well established industry association which aggressively promotes “Diversity and Inclusivity” and in that context women. This gentleman was sharing his views on women leadership and the need to support women during their child bearing years. Typical of someone who is passionate about what they do, this gentleman was describing and analyzing the various initiatives to support women in IT sector.
During the course of this passionate conversation, he highlighted that employers should appreciate the needs of the women during pregnancy period also. He gave an example – if a women has morning sickness, she should be given the option for flexible timing. I was mentally absorbing this fact of including pregnancy period also to provide flexibility to women and wondering what it means to run a project and accommodate these requests – in reality, IT sector struggles a lot to provide meaningful flexi timing even post pregnancy as the work demands overlap timing with US time zones.
And suddenly he adds the spice ” you know, I was told that it is the senior women who are not very supportive to implement these small changes to take care of the women’s needs. They say, “we have gone through the pregnancy period and managed work without any concessions. Why can’t the current generation do this?’ That is where people say that men are different and take care of women better”. My thoughts were stilled and i was taken aback for a minute – alas, once again, i was reassured that women never get it easy!
My experience tells me to subscribe to the concept of “when going gets tough, the tough gets going” . With this new perspective shared by this gentleman, my subscription can easily be construed as a senior women not appreciating the tough situation which a junior women is going through??!!! Am aghast – should i patronize the younger generation to be a considerate senior or continue to goad them to cross over tough situations by being tough?? So, patronizing women is what they call as taking care of women??!!! where will they get this right?!
These…. Idiosyncrasies of being a woman!!
On a dull Saturday afternoon, I compulsively was checking twitter, though ended up checking my inbox (established symptoms of OCD, I suppose!) – and then I saw this note from Shiva “Is this referring to you? – http://www.youthconnectmag.com/2014/09/27/13-rare-personal-stories-about-rahul-dravid-will-make-your-day-today/” – It indeed took me just a second to realize what this was about….and it was a squeaky feeling to read about yourself as “one Mrs.Srividya Ram!”
Nevertheless, I was thrilled that someone actually read it and referred it!! Later i realized, that because of this reference, the blog had booming statistics for a day! So, I am now wondering if i should thank the youthconnectmag or the simple humble real life hero for inspiring me to write this note ?
It is letter P for the A to Z challenge.
When i clicked on “Tossing it out” and saw P is Prison movies, I know this one was easy. Lot of regional movies has prison in its main theme.
But the first thought when to the movie called Chirai (Prison) – It is a Tamil regional movie of 1984, based on the story written by a Tamil novelist Anuradha Ramanan. Apparently, this storyline was very progressive – it handled a sensitive topic, where an orthodox traditional married women makes a decision which is beyond the tradition! This movie brought in the stunning logic for the then traditional society (it is still the same in many parts of the world). When the married women gets assaulted sexually, her husband disowns her – now here is this lady who already is a victim and also being held responsible for being a victim! She makes a bold decision to move into the house of the assaulter himself, who already has realized his wrong-doing and supports her till the end and gives a very decent quality of life! The story ends where the lady decide to live as a widow of the assaulter than her husband who deserted her ! What this movie portrayed was the biassed outlook of a society – which is way off from being a gender-neutral society!
In general, even today, many parts of the society look at the victim of sexual assault condescendingly – the victim itself is considered partly responsible for the crime – when the infamous Delhi incident happened as recently as December 2012, there were unprecedented supporting voices for women safety from every corner of the world. At the same time, there was this view of “can one hand clap?” from some parts of the society !!
While there is lot to be said about this sensitive topic of women safety around the world, it goes without saying that we not only need stricter laws but a sweeping mindset change, where every human being is looked at as a human being than as a women or men…!
Am sure we are progressing as a society, but have still a long way before we say we arrived! Till then – for those lovely women folks around the world – TAKE CARE, BE BOLD & STAY SAFE!
It is 100th anniversary of international women’s day !! I still feel the same about this…what i felt years back….that wish still seems to be a secret wish!!….especially when you are in the realms of corporate world where you continue to work through the daily chores of everyone’s psycho maps and get things done and still love those few nice moments (a small note, a text message, that little fluttered morning wish from a security staff, the little smile from a junior staff in the elevator, the big laugh in the cafeteria over ginger tea) – life for any gender is by and large influenced by that first circle of folks who we constantly meet or interact with and most of the time it is just that handful…
The factors which seem to be different for a women arises majorly due to couple of reasons
- people/society just see her as a women physically than as a fellow human being!
- mother nature still holds to the fact that only women can bear children!
Every other factor tends to fade in the background if these two are handled well! Just being constantly aware …. Constantly aware of Self , Environment , individual rights and one’s own values helps!
The understanding that there is really no right and wrong when it comes to gender diversity views is another step for us! – being financially dependent on her husband did not make any difference to my grandmom’s freedom of thought hundred years ago! She never knew the existence of women’s liberation – she was born and also married into families which were traditionally patriarchal – still she was the decision maker for the family at large – men folks wanted to listen to her – she managed huge weddings – she was there for everyone! There was no gender bias coming in!!
While the modern world brought the humanity lot of advantages, it also brought in its own challenges – while it is nice to have those focussed groups to support and encourage gender neutral practices in various walks of our daily life, the fact still remains that the individual (be it whatever gender) mostly decide their own destiny! As a man thinketh!! (a good debate topic for those feminist forums to find why James Allen did not write “As a woman thinketh!”)
Ofocurse – wishes to all those great and lovely women around the world – world is what it is today becoz of the different roles you all play – daughter, sister, mother, friend, boss, subordinate, etc…etc… you make a difference in the lives of every one around you!! Take care of yourself! Be aware! Be blessed!
When I found that many are cutting short the three-day conference to two days and getting back home earlier, I was upset .. Upset because I prioritized the third day at the conference over my little one’s annual music day at school. I still could have done a replanning – aversion to last-minute replanning, late nights at airports and to some extent my laziness overtook (I also had an iota of sincerity quotient towards participating in the conference) – I decided to continue on the thrid day.
It was still haunting to remember that expectant voice and little face “amma, can you come on Friday morning atleast for the music day?”. I decided I need to give my little one something which will to some extent compensate my absence. It struck me then that I can take something which is unique – an autography from his favorite cricketer Rahul Dravid – it is almost two years since the little one got Dravid’s autograph on a two-inch paper and I was impressed by this cricketer. Rahul exhibited that he is a true hero – read the detail here.
So, I had updated my colleagues that I am going to manage to get Rahul Dravid’s autograph during the valedictory session on the third day – while I was extremely aware that it is a formal forum and I may look a bit out-of-place asking for his autograph, I was encouraged by my desire to compensate my absence on my little one’s school day back at home – ofcourse, there were other colleagues who really were fans of Dravid’s cricket skills unlike me who were also planning to take a picture or an autograph from him
I literally grabbed the opportunity when Rahul was waiting at the first row corner to get into the stage – I dashed to him with a notebook and pen and showed this notebook telling in a low voice that it is for my son and his name his karthik – I saw a momentary shock on his face and also probably some irritation (when he is focussing to get to the stage in an official forum, sure he did not expect this!) – that was just momentary – he took the pen, wrote my son’s name and gave his autograph. A minute and it was all done – true hero obliging to his fan’s request.
His session started and I was once again in for surprise – his humble nature and the ability to laugh at himself were quickly taking up the audience by fire. While you can watch the video here
Few quotes which captured my attention are
- Aggression is a mind thing
- Stay at the cocoon of the moment and do it again and again and again – ability to put your mind to the moment needs skill
- Cricket somehow brings you down to the earth – all of us are hardwired to deal with failure
- Emotional energy which is lost due to failure is very important to deal and then get back
- Coming second to Sachin or Laxman is NOT such a bad thing. Coming second to someone mediocre is something bad
- Few things I ticked before a match – : physical fitness, technical capability, mental routines, and emotional energy
- Great teams are built on great bowling attacks
- If u got the bowler’s angry, then u r closer to winning – anger takes away focus
My surprise indeed continued when i saw him in the same flight back home – in the economy section, two seats in front of me…again being that same humble, polite, wanting to establish that feeling of “I am one among all of you!” – still accommodating the fans who were asking for an autograph or a picture with him – through the flight, on the ground near the baggage collection area – ofcourse, I was satisfied with the elaborate autograph for the little one which I got in the evening!!
Once again, it was witnessing the real hero – is it just being humble OR is it being Rahul Dravid – looks like it is Humble and being Rahul Dravid!!
It was always in the back of my mind – a small throbbing of uncomfortable feeling! From the time when I heard about Nithyasri’s personal incident, I was more concerned on when she will come back – I never had any doubt about her coming back, but was not sure of the period she is going to take to get back with confidence.
When I came to know that she was back on music academy with the support of her dear friend musician Sowmya, I had stop my work and google to get more inputs on her comeback. It indeed was so heartening to see her back in her normal avatar..
While we will never know the real reasons of why and what caused this talented woman to face such an incident in her life, I only want to say that it is extremely important for many women to know that Nithya came back to get on with her life and her life’s purpose! Her comeback exhibits the courage of an individual, a woman who wants to put the trauma behind her! She indeed will be a role model not just for the budding musicians but also for those scores of South Indian Women!
WELCOME BACK, NithyaSri – God Bless!
What a pleasant way to start 2013 – I really felt that our police services are making genuine effort to be more people friendly….
This is what happened today evening – we were in the Cauvery circle near Sadhashiva nager and suddenly a traffic police pops up and gives a card – my first thought was it is some safety advisory …, but when i opened it – BINGO!! NEW YEAR WISHES !!
I felt so thrilled about the whole experience – “Honge kamyab hum Honge Kamyab”
Great start for 2013!!!
One of the peppiest (!!) songs in the recent past!! A tribute to Rajni – one of the most popular actor and known for his “down-to-earth” attitude!
Have heard this song already many times!! Birthday wishes!!
When I saw the invite for the book publishing event in my mail box from Anitha, I wanted to go. Two reasons – Anitha is one of the persons whom I can just sit for hours together without even talking much and feel completely at ease; two of Anitha’s prize-winning short stories are part of the book which was published that day.
While I had never been to this kind of event before, I thoroughly enjoyed the evening. I reached the event little late (they had already published the book which Anitha said is the main event!), I think I was present for the best part of it – reading the extracts from the stories which were published in that book.
I was mesmerized when one of the women rendered a paragraph from Anitha’s story – I could not believe that such a voice modulation, clarity and emotion can all be brought in by anyone – especially a frail looking women. I just wanted to sit there and listen to her reading all the stories from that book for ever.
Anitha updated me that it was Jyoti Makhija, one of the famous theatre personalities in Bangalore. It also stuck me later that majority of the participants (including the audience) were women – women who gave a feeling that they are intellectual, who are matured and mostly over 50. It again reiterated the fact that women have more interests in life as a group and still want to believe in fiction.
ps-I was highlighting that I was impressed that lot of women are interested in english literature. I got an immediate response “Women do all the running round. Men sit and write” I liked the intended pun from Anitha on this!! :) :)
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